100+ Best Funny Wedding Wishes for Your Special Day

Wedding can be pretty stressful, so why not lighten up the mood by sending some funny wedding wishes to your close and dear ones? Wish them onward madness and craziness together. Congratulating the newly married couple by sending some funny wedding messages will be a way to make fun. Do not forget to give them your blessings and best wishes for all the fights they are signing up for in their lifetime. Here are some funny wedding wishes you can send to your best friend, siblings, cousins, relatives, or colleagues on this joyous occasion. Enjoy the magical day and bless them with your presence and funny yet heartwarming congratulatory words.

What to write on a wedding card?

Funny wedding wishes for newly-wed couple

When writing funny wedding wishes for a newly-wed couple, think about what makes the couple unique and include those traits in your message. You can also incorporate jokes about marriage and newly-wedded life, such as the difference between dating and being married, or the challenges of adjusting to married life.

1. “I knew you two were madly in love with each other but didn’t think that you’ll be mad enough to marry. Have a great life ahead.”
2. “To the man who couldn’t spring for drinks when he was out with the guys, but is now blowing up his money on his huge wedding, you have left no doubt that you love this girl/guy! Congratulations.”
3. “You’ve finally found someone who understands your weird jokes. Hold onto them forever!”
4. “There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. Now my parents have one more reason to coax me into getting married. Congratulations.”
5. “Never ever discount the idea of marriage. Sure, someone might tell you that marriage is just a piece of paper. Well, so is money, and what’s more life-affirming than cold, hard cash?”
6. “May you live each day like your last, and live each night like your first.”
7. “As Bill and Ted said, ‘Be excellent to each other.’ “
8. “Why are wives more dangerous than the Mafia? The Mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both!”
9. “A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, and always with the same person.”
10. “In the words of Mindy Kaling: I don’t want to hear about the endless struggles to keep sex exciting, or the work it takes to plan a date night. I want to hear that you guys watch every episode of The Bachelorette together in secret shame, or that one got the other hooked on Breaking Bad and if either watches it without the other, they’re dead meat. I want to see you guys high–five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”
11. “Getting married is like going to drama school. May there be more comedy than melodrama.”
12. “Being married is like any other job; it helps if you like your boss!”
13. “And now you two have officially become one: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!”
14. “Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling!”
15. “May your day be extra special and fun – because tomorrow the hard work begins!”
16. “Getting married is like being in drama school. You get to practice everything from comedy to melodrama to tragedy. Congratulations on your journey to the theatre!”
17. Today, I have realized that life is not fair for single people like me. Until now I had to buy you a gift only once a year on your birthday. Now I have two birthdays plus a wedding anniversary to buy gifts for. You guys are getting expensive – but so worth it! Congratulations.”
18. “Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. You guys must be truly insane or MADLY in love.”
19. “What’s the best way to have your husband remember your anniversary? Get married on his birthday.”
20. “They say that marriage is a great institution. And much like many types of institutions, you need to be crazy to get into it – Congratulations, you kooks!”
21. “I hope you get so many wedding gifts that you don’t realize none are from me.”
22. “Some people marry for love. Some people marry for money. Some people just like getting gravy boats and other useless pieces of china.”
23. “In life, we should always keep our eyes wide open. However, after marriage, it’s better to close them!”
24. “Saying I do while getting married is like blindly clicking on the I Accept checkbox while installing new software on your computer. You do it despite having no clue of what will come next. Congratulations on getting married.”
25. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.”
26. “Thanks for the free booze. Best wishes for a long, happy marriage!”
27. “Some future advice for the groom: the most effective way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget it… once!”
28. “Congratulations on signing your life away!”
29. “Marriage is as easy as a walk in the park… Jurassic Park!”
30. “You haven’t just tied the knot with your wife today, you have tied ropes on your legs too. Congratulations on your wedding.”
31. Bride: “I do!” Groom: “I do what she says…”
32. Best of luck for your lifetime suffering. Have peace with each other. Congratulations!
33. Congratulations on convincing yourself to settle down. May the crazy days start!
34. I am happy that you are married now. Congratulations for being expensively stupid.
35. I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage. It remains… a secret to all! Wishing you all the best for the times ahead!
36. Thank you so much for giving us a day to chill. Today is a wonderful day to be married! Congrats.
37. No amount of wishes or luck will protect you from the painful life of slavery you are about to start as a husband. Congratulations anyway.
38. Two become One: one bed, one remote, one bathroom! Congratulations on your union as life partners!
39. Your laughter will be dead, Your rejoicing will be nullified. There’s going to be just one voice at home now, And that is of your wife’s. Happy married life!
40. I would like to send you my best wishes on your lifelong contract. Congratulations!

Funny wedding wishes for bride 

In crafting humorous wedding wishes for the bride, it’s important to take into account her individuality and funny bone. You can playfully poke fun at the bride’s stunning appearance and the thrill of the big day, or offer lighthearted tips for a successful married life.

1. Congrats on your first adopted baby – Your husband!
2.  Your wedding marks the end of your love story and the start of a new everlasting headache, yay!
3. The only upside to your wedding is that now you have someone else who you can irritate when you are bored. HaHa congratulations to both of us!
4. Your life had something missing without your husband. But with them, now you are completely finished. Let’s celebrate!
5. Don’t worry. If not with this one, you will get it right with the next one. Cheers!
6. The actual way to keep your married life perfect is to let your husband think he is making all the decisions and do things your own way. Things will go your way and he won’t know any better, congratulations!
7. Do not expect that your husband will change after marriage. You will have to guide him through the process. Happy wedding!
8. Getting married is like reading Shakespeare – you get comedy, you get romance and you get a whole lot of history and tragedy. Cheers to Shakespeare and you!
9. If you were dying to cook for someone your whole life, you could have just come to me. But anyway, wish you a happy married life ahead babe!
10. I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage if you let me open your wedding gift with you, until then, Congratulations!
11.  I’d say you rushed it, but Jij is a gem so I’ll make my peace with your wedding and get dressed too. Congrats bub!
12. The day he got your Elephant-Ant joke, I knew this was real! Congratulations on finding a man as weird as you.
13. Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together – problems that never existed before you married. But since you’ve picked your problems, let’s celebrate. Cheers!
14. Stick this card on your fridge door and thank me later for not being the one who forgets anniversaries. Congratulations bestie B!
15.  Congratulations on finding a forever fun topic of discussion for our con calls now. I love you, xx.
16.  Congratulations for embarking on life’s journey called marriage.. which is either a two way street between compromise and sacrifice or a one way street to divorce.
17. You are in for a big surprise because you have failed to decode the biggest mystery-when two becomes one, halved is the fun.
18. I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. After all, free food and booze was just too lucrative to give up. Congratulations.
19. You will have moments when you will really love your husband, then there will be the rest of the time.
20. Marriage doesn’t mean you own the person (just their stuff).

Funny wedding wishes for groom

Composing amusing nuptial well wishes for the groom requires considering his character and what sets him apart. Utilize humor by jesting about the groom’s involvement in the wedding ceremony or offering lighthearted guidance for matrimony. Don’t hesitate to playfully tease the groom about his newfound obligations as a spouse.

1. Your life had always been a rollercoaster and now am glad you have someone to scream along with you. Congrats bro!
2. If all you wanted was bondage, you could have looked for a less permanent one than marriage – a 5 years FD maybe? Just kidding, have a happy married life man!
3. In every argument you have, remember, one of you is going to be right, but you will have to concede no matter who that person is.
4. The only difference being married and being stupid is that when you marry, you are paying someone to conduct that stupid act.
5. On your wedding day, I would like to disclose the secret to a happy married life…well it is such a secret that no one knows it. Here’s wishing you both a very happy married life.
6. Never laugh at her choices. You are her biggest one dude! Congrats for this amazing journey you’re about to witness!
7. Your marriage today marks the end of your happy love story and marks the beginnings of your never-ending war. May the best player win.
8. What do late-night parties, outing with friends and lazy weekends have in common? They all disappear after you get married. So cheers to this new chapter!
9. Look, I have a chauffeur and a car ready at the gate if you change your mind. If not, have a wonderful wedding!
10. Look at you getting married, while I am still swiping right for a conversation starter! Cheers mate!
11.  From single to married, from available to busy, from no worries to no money — You sure you want to do this?
12. Like a well-constructed house, this marriage is built to last. Think of jewelry on birthdays as your insurance.
13. Thanks for reminding me how much money I’m going to save by not having a wedding
14. In the circus of life, you may have lived like a lion so far. But your wife, the new Circus Master will tame you into a domesticated cat in no time. Good luck with your tight rope act.
15. Stay in Love, stay married, stay hopeful, most of all, stay together – divorce is too expensive
16. Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! Just kidding! Hope your wedding finds you smiling
17. Before you got married, you were madly in love with each other. Now you will’be be mad at each other as well.
18.  Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
19. Keep calm and don’t do it.
20. They say marriage is a great institution and much like many types of institutions , you need to be crazy to get into it.

Funny wedding quotes & sayings

Incorporating funny quotes and sayings into your wedding wishes can be a great way to bring humor to the occasion. Consider using well-known jokes or phrases about marriage, or famous quotes from comedians and movies.

1. “Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century.” – Mark Twain
2. “A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor
3. “Marriage is like a game of chess. Except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke, and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.” – Jerry Seinfeld
4. “Spend a few minutes a day really listening to your spouse. No matter how stupid his problems sound to you.” —Megan Mullally
5. “Why buy the cow? Maybe because every day the cow asks you when you’re going to buy it. And you live in a really small apartment with the cow and you can’t avoid that question at all. Also, the cow is way better at arguing than you are … But for real, why buy the cow? Let’s be real. Why buy the cow? Because you love her. You really do.” –John Mullaney
6. “Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
7. “The heart has its reasons, of which reason knows nothing.” – Blaise Pascal
8. “Love is a two-way street constantly under construction.” – Carroll Bryant
9. “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” – Jean Illsley Clarke
10. “In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland
11. “The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.” —Henny Youngman
12. “Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together, which you didn’t even have when you were on your own.”—Eddie Cantor
13. “Marriage is the bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.”—Ogden Nash
14. “For the marriage to be a success, every woman and every man should have her and his own bathroom. The end.” —Catherine Zeta-Jones
15. “When a man opens a car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife.” Prince Phillip
16. “A good marriage is one where each partner secretly suspects they got the better deal.” Anonymous
17. “My wife dresses to kill, she cooks the same way.” Henry Youngman
18.  “Love is a lot like a backache; it doesn’t show up on X-Rays, but you know it’s there.” George Burns
19. “We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” Henry Youngman
20. “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” Phyllis Diller

Also, you can watch the video below for some unique wedding gift ideas to go along with your funny wedding cards.

FAQ:

What are some good wedding wishes to write in a card?

Good wedding wishes to write in a card can be personal, heartfelt, and humorous. Consider writing a message that reflects the couple’s personalities and relationship, and includes a few jokes or lighthearted comments.

How can I make my wedding wishes funny?

To make your wedding wishes funny, consider the couple’s sense of humor and incorporate jokes or humorous comments into your message. You can also include funny quotes or sayings about marriage, or make lighthearted jokes about the wedding day.

Are funny wedding wishes appropriate for all weddings?

Funny wedding wishes can be appropriate for all weddings, as long as they are respectful and inoffensive. Consider the couple’s personalities and sense of humor when writing your wishes, and avoid insensitive or inappropriate jokes.

Conclusion

Wedding celebrations are a time for joy and laughter, and writing funny wedding wishes can be a great way to bring humor to the occasion. Whether you’re writing a message for the newly-wed couple, the bride, the groom, or including a funny quote in a speech, keep in mind the couple’s personalities and sense of humor, and personalize your message to them. With a little creativity and consideration, your funny wedding wishes will be sure to bring a smile to the couple’s faces and make their day even more special.